Caring for a sick pet can be complicated. It’s stressful when a family member is sick even our four legged family members. Whether you are deciding what diagnostic tests to run, what type of treatments to use or how to fit long term expenses in your budget, it’s easy to become overwhelmed quickly.
I get it! Not only do I get it, but I live it! I am a wife, mother, business owner and guardian to two horses, two cats and a dog. I am regularly overwhelmed by the health needs of my herd. My oldest cat has hyperthyroidism, arthritis, and overgrooms his hair. My youngest cat has IBD and has high maintenance litter box needs. My oldest horse has Cushings Disease and my youngest horse has severe arthritis and asthma. And finally my dog has hypothyroidism and allergies.
Not only do I get overwhelmed but I witness my clients experiencing those feelings, too.
I have put together a few tips that help me cope and stay focused when caring for sick pets.
1. Let go of the guilt. As tempting as it is to feel guilty when we can’t give our animals everything, it is counter productive and won’t help you or your pet. Do the best you can, that is enough. Some days, my dog misses a dose of his thyroid medication. Currently I am a month behind checking my cat’s T4 levels. The box of medication for my horse has been sitting on my kitchen counter for a solid two weeks. Remember everyday is a new day.
2. Let go of perfection. This goes hand in hand with releasing the guilt. As a veterinarian that uses both alternative and traditional therapies, my clients have more therapeutic options to choose from. Many people want to utilize every therapy available but don’t have the time or financial resources available. It’s ok to do what you can. Would pretty much every animal benefit from weekly acupuncture and massage? Yes, but wouldn’t you too?
3. Get organized. If you have several animals on several different medications or if you have one animal on a complicated regimen, staying organized can give you a sense of peace and control. Many of my clients use spreadsheets or dry erase calendars to help remind them of medications or other treatments.
4. Ask for help. If you live with friends or family, ask them to help. Maybe you need to hire a technician to give your kitty fluids or a dog walker to walk your arthritic dog. Also, ask your veterinarian for help. Talk to them when you feel overwhelmed and ask them if they can help you prioritize.
5. Take care of yourself. Make sure that you are making your health, both mental and physical, a priority. You can’t be much help to your animal if you don’t keep yourself well. So often I see guardians sacrificing their own well being to care for their animal. Unfortunately this leads to a sick guardian and an animal not receiving care.
6. Enjoy your pet. It’s easy to get wrapped up in your animal’s illness and forget to enjoy the simple things like snuggles on the couch or playing fetch. When you can relax with your pet, they can relax and heal.
You love your animal and they love you too! Some of your circumstances may not be ideal and maybe you wish they were different. Forgive yourself, let go of perfection and enjoy the precious time you have with your pet.
My 13 year old Maltese Pomeranian has severe collapsing trachea and chf. She has been coughing terribly lately and her meds don’t seem to be working great any longer. 20 months ago we got a puppy not realizing that my older dog would decline and it has been so difficult juggling. I have to go on a business trip in two weeks and nobody else has had to give all of her medications plus, she they are both very attached to me because I wfh. I’m terrified I’ll lose her while I’m gone or my husband won’t be able to handle it all. I wish I could get her cough under control.
Lisa, this is incredibly hard and I hear just how nervous you are feeling to step away on a business trip. I also hear how difficult it has been to juggle the different needs of both puppyhood and senior years. It’s definitely important to mention the increased coughing to her veterinarian as there may need to be adjustments to her treatment protocol and I trust that your veterinary team can be of support to your husband while you are away as well. Many clinics offer telehealth appointments and can offer guidance and support virtually, which would also allow you to be a part of the conversation even while traveling. We are sending you so much love as you continue to navigate this part of your pet’s journey. Hugs, JoJo, Veterinary Nurse.
My dear Shanti, 10 yo, Persian male & neutered cat, has fallen ill since exactly a week ago. It has only been a nightmare since then…. he was diagnosed as having a urinary blockage and several bladder stones and I have cried my eyes out for god knows how many hours, especially in this state of extreme financial difficulty that I have… I feel so helpless and everything seems to be falling apart. Right now it’s his second time this week that we’re trying to get rid of the blockage by getting him an catheter and that has been extremely stressful itself as he has massive UT inflammation but I thank the gods that this time the catheter insertion seems to have been successful. I would give everything I have in this world just to see him not suffer anymore and I can’t help but wonder that if the blockage isn’t successful and surgery is needed I have just been making him suffer endlessly as I can’t get his screams out of my head as the vet was massaging his bladder but I can’t just let my sweet boy go like this. It feels like all hell has broken loose and my washing machine also stopped working and how can I provide clean towels for him with his catheter now? I feel so awful I really did feel like something was wrong and he wasn’t feeling too good but because I was short on money I couldn’t do anything until this started happening…. I can’t help but blame myself and feeling like I should’ve done something. His vet said it’s best to let his catheter run open non-stop and prescribed antibiotics but I found contradictory information about this online, saying that antibiotics makes their bladder more prone to infections and it’s worse. His vet is outside the country right now and I can’t reach him till the end of the week and I feel so lost and so helpless and filled with anxiety to the brim. I am scared of so many possible complications it’s impossible to list them here. It’s been such a terrible year for me already lost one of my family members and now my sweet and dear boy is experiencing more pain than I could ever imagine my heart is breaking in pieces….He has always been a good boy and had never urinated outside his litter box not even once and now he’s suffering like this…. my dear darling I am hoping you get well soon and don’t have to experience any of this again
Niki, please know that you have done an outstanding job advocating and caring for your sweet boy. What you and your cat are dealing with is incredibly difficulty and we know that the financial stress only compiles what is already challenging. I’m also so sorry to hear that your veterinarian is traveling and not available to you in this time. I hope that you are receiving support from the rest of the veterinary team. Please give yourself grace and know that you are doing a great job. Your love and care for him is clearly felt and he is very fortunate to have you as his guardian. Sending you so much love. JoJo, Veterinary Nurse
This has been so helpful. My approx 16 year old cat (he was a stray when he found us) has become very lethargic, is losing weight and has a nasty cold that produces sneezing fits and mucous. Took him to the emergency vets and got medication but he still isn’t right. Off to vets for blood test etc later this morning. Just can’t stop crying. I can’t eat and feel sick. I always wanted a cat but my husband is allergic. Stanley was injured and we ended up feeding him and he became ours. I know he’s old but I’m struggling so much with the thought of life without him x
Hi Nikki. I’m so glad that you found your way to us and that your sweet boy, Stanley, found his way to you. I trust that the blood work will shed more light on what’s happening for your cat and will help his veterinary team have a clear direction in how best to support him. He is so lucky to be loved and cared for by you and I bet you feel very lucky to be loved by him. Sending you so much love and support. JoJo, Veterinary Nurse
oh Nikki it helped me so much to read this. I am going through 100% the exact same thing as you are right now. mine is only 10 but he has an upper respiratory infection and he can’t eat and I’m having to force feed him. I took him to the vet for the second time in 3 days today he’s been on doxycycline for 3 days and not much improvement. he is literally my heart and soul and I’ve done nothing on my day off today but cycle around waiting on him ,helping him, watching him like a hawk ,spending 2 hours at the vet and 600 more dollars which trust me I do not mind .they did get him to eat three tablespoons of food and they gave him Sub-Q fluids and he slept most of the afternoon by my side on the bed. now it’s time to give him his doxycycline and try to feed him again and I’m making such a mess of it I’m literally like you, crying. I’m so glad to know someone else is going through this as well and feels like they just can’t possibly do enough for their pet. I hope your baby gets better too. it’s so hard to see them ill.
Angela, we know it’s so difficult to watch your kitty not feeling like his best self and we hear just how much you love and care for him and are doing everything to help him mend. You’re doing an amazing job. Thank you for being such a loving guardian. Hugs, JoJo, Veterinary Nurse
I’m trying so hard to stay strong, but I just can’t. So I came to this article hoping to find some comfort.
My black cat (almost 14 years, her birthday is next month) suddenly fell ill just yesterday when she was perfectly fine before. She’s always been perfectly healthy, this was just so out of the blue. Her nose was bleeding uncontrollably, and she suddenly started sneezing and coughing it up.
We took her to an emergency vet clinic right away, but we didn’t get any answers on WHY this is happening (though they did give her a lot of meds to help with the pain, nausea, and bleeding), and we can’t afford any next steps. I don’t know what to do at this point. I feel like such a wreck.
I’m so sorry to hear this, Lara. I hear just how scary this has been for you. How is your cat feeling now? I hope that your kitty is on the mend and feeling more like herself. You are doing a great job at caring for her and it’s easy to see just how much you love her. Wrapping you in virtual hugs. With Love, JoJo, Veterinary Nurse
It’s been a while since I was on this page, but… There wasn’t anything we could do for her. She’s at peace now, and I’m trying my best to take comfort in that, but I still can’t help but think about how horrible the experience was for her. She was my baby, my world, my everything, and there was nothing I could do for her. What gets me is that she was perfectly healthy before this happened, and it was all just happening too fast. My heart is broken, and I don’t know how long it’ll take me to recover from this.
Lara,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You must miss her so much. I am sending you a hug and so much love as you navigate your grief.
Warmly,
Dr. Angie
I just found a cataract on my black cat’s eye. I’ve never lost a pet before. I’ve had her since I was little, and worshipped the ground she walks on. I’m just feeling so awful that I didn’t notice before today. I’m so worried about her, and so confused, but logically I knew this would happen at some point, so apart of me also feel stupid and incompetent. I really needed to read this.
Hi there,
You are doing a great job. It might not be a cataract. It could be normal age related changes or something else. As a veterinarian, I miss things with my own animals as well. Seeing your pet everyday makes changes that happen slowly over time difficult to detect. A vet visit might be more reassuring! Let me know when they find.
Sending you a big hug,
Dr. Angie
Thank you for writing the above advice. My cat was recently diagnosed as diabetic, and I have been trained on the administering of insulin, but we also switched him from dry to wet food right away too, and he is only eating about 1 to 1.5 oz, twice a day. Until he eats a bit more, I have been too nervous to give him the insulin yet, as I truly believe in my gut that stress hyperglycemia may be a factor with the in office blood test (he swallowed a sweatpants drawstring 2 weeks ago, and $5000 later they got it out, then we discovered the high blood sugar), and I don’t want to cause hypoglycemia. I just bought and received the Alphatrak 3 monitor and will be taking it up to the vet to help me calibrate it. I feel like if I can get a baseline reading while he is here at home then I will have a better idea of what we are working with. Self doubt, fear, and worry have been consuming me lately, and after I read the advice above, I took a deep breath, gave myself some grace, and said out loud, “we can do this.” Thank you so much!
Hi Kim. You and your kitty have been on quite the medical journey and you are doing a most excellent job of caring for his needs. I was going to suggest getting a glucose reading at home and you were already on it! I’m very grateful that you have had the support of your veterinary team in what is a challenging time. Keep taking those deep breaths, being gentle with yourself, and you and your boy can definitely do this! So glad you are here and part of our community. Sending hugs! JoJo, Veterinary Nurse
My dog had surgery in her gallbladder months ago, she has an enlarged heart and old (10 y.o.) right now. Just last week, she experienced coughing with wheezing noises. We’re going to visit her Vet tomorrow or this weekend.
The anxiety and stress from when she had her surgery is coming back again. I feel heavy in my chest, I’m worried. I want to cry but I can’t. I just want her to feel better. Whenever she has a coughing episode it pains my heart. We have limited funds and its just me and my gf.
My gf had a panic attack a few months ago when our dog was about to have her surgery. I’m worried for both of them in case the diagnosis is bad. I’m really worried and the feeling of heaviness in my chest is really overwhelming. I really care for both my dog and my gf.
Hi Ethan, I really hear the stress and concern you have about caring for your sweet pup and for your girlfriend who sounds as though she’s equally feeling stress and concern. I commend you both for what wonderful and dedicated caregivers you are to your dog and how much you are advocating for her well-being. Being worried and overwhelmed is completely understandable. It’s a lot to watch those you love navigate through health concerns. Please know that you are not alone and that we are wrapping all of you in love. May your vet team also provide you with all the support that is needed during these times! Hugs. JoJo, Veterinary Nurse
Thanks for the kind words. Its a big thing that you took the time to respond to my comment. Your words let me feel a little less alone as me and my gf are going through this.
Im slowly trying to manage my emotions, anxiety and panic attacks. Im figuring out a daily routine that I can follow together with prayer sessions so that i dont have space in my head for negative thoughts.
Be gentle with yourself as you are in this space. Hugs.
hi all. I feel so sad and distressed. My 6.5 years old golden retriever has recurrent bouts of acute moist dermatitis. it pains me to see him with those active wounds. I clean the area, clip the hair around the wound, apply a medicine spray to his wound, and also make him wear the Elizabethan collar every day. but he still can reach certain parts of his body like the hind paw, thighs, etc. and he chews on them even if I have to leave the house for some work for 1-2 hours. or he chews on them at night when we’re sleeping.
I can’t express how sad and frustrated I feel upon seeing him sick. I can’t bear it really. I’m really trying but I’m so tired now. I don’t know what to do, I don’t have too many financial resources either. + today his right eye is swollen, maybe an insect bit him last night. no clue. I’ll need to take him to the vet somehow max by tomorrow in case it doesn’t get better on its own. vets in my city are so expensive and the affordable ones are too far away. it’s really sad.
Hi Krutika,
I really hear you sadness about your sweet pup’s struggle and the frustration with the cost of veterinary care as well as not making progress with his itchiness. Your feeling are really valid. Dr. Angie does host a Q & A on Instagram every Wednesday at 12:30pm MST. This is a free resource that she offers to pet parents in the community. You are always welcome to join us there and ask any questions that you have. Additionally, Dr. Angie also offers one-on-one video consultations and this can be a very supportive way to have another set of eyes review your dog’s medical history, current symptoms, and to formulate next steps in a treatment plan. If this is of interest to you, please use this link to access Dr. Angie’s availability. Sending you so much love. You’re doing such a great job and are a wonderful guardian for your boy. Love, JoJo, Veterinary Nurse
I had a 13 and 14 yr old lab pass away last year. We decided to get another dog and immediately after my 13 yr old passed I ordered 2 puppies which took 5 mths to
come. We got them at 7 weeks old and at the first vet appointment, a murmur
was detected on Sam one month after getting him. They asked us
to wait until he was 6 mths to get an eco cardio gram and yesterday we found
out that it is very severe and he wont live past 2 yrs old. All we can do is medicate to make comfortable. I feel for his brother the black one. Sam’s valve to the heart did not form properly and he is rated 5 our 6..
We are devistated. The puppy is 6 1/2 mths and we love them so much
Oh, Linda. This is devastating. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling with this heartbreaking news, stacked with the recent grief of your senior labs.
I know one this is true. These puppies are so lucky to have you, and I’m so glad that your babe’s short life will be one full of love and compassion.
Big hugs,
Claire Primo
Veterinary Nurse
Kindly post the edited message
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Thank you so much for this article . My black cat suddenly became ill after 12 years of not having a thing , is 13 years old he lost weight and it seems like lots of cats nowadays to be in a early stage of moderate renal illness . I am giving him a diet nutrition and a supplementary food . This year was a terrible year for me one problem after an other neither a good Xmas and New Year start . I am worked many years in the Aviation as such I got used to lots of troubles though this hit me most ,there are still so many unanswered questions into his health condition. I’m struggling with worries because he went from being very fit to losing weight and being not the cat I knew , mainly and foremost of the day I may lose him. Any help will be appreciated
Big hugs to you, I hope you’ll see my comment on your other post as well!
With love,
Claire
Thank you so much for this article . My black cat suddenly became ill after 12 years did have a thing , is 13 years old he lost weight and it seems like lots of cats to be in a moderate stage of renal illness . I am giving him a diet nutrition and a suplemental food . This year was a terrible year for me one problem after an other neither a good Xmas and New Year . I am worked many years in the Aviation I got used to lots of problems though this hit me most ,there are still so many unanswered questions into his health condition. I’m struggling with worries because he went from being very fit to losing weight and being not the cat I knew , mainly and foremost of the day I may lose him
Hi Alex,
Oh, I am so sorry that you are so sick with worry. I hope you have a community of support and other pet parents surrounding you.
How is your sweet boy doing?
With big hugs,
Claire
Thank you so much Dr. Angie. I’ve just lost one of my 2 years old cat recently, and now my eldest cat who’s 6 years old got sick. It’s overwhelming to deal with his sickness because of the trauma i went through recently. He’s currently on syringe feeding and hopefully on his way to recovery if things go right. I needed all the support i could get through this journey. I wish you and your family a good health and happiness you deserve. ❤️❤️
Hi Shimon,
I am so incredibly sorry to hear about the recent loss of your kitty. 2 years old is so young :(. I know it must be so hard seeing your 6 year old sick now.
I am sending you such enormous hugs and am hoping that your boy has turned a corner. Please keep us posted.
So much love,
Claire Primo
Veterinary Nurse
I don’t know what to do , how things go well ?? as I’m experiencing very stressful period for my pet he may have bone related cancer in some future time and his leg swelled up , and i got to be here to relax my mind this is so stressful and restless for me I have dropped all my things which i used to do like gymming and listening to music . I’m already alone in my life don’t know how to cope with it
Hi Sam,
First – big, giant hugs. I am so sorry that you are now dealing with this. It is absolutely so hard and heartbreaking when our pets aren’t well – or worse.
How is your boy doing now? Have you been able to get any diagnostic tests done to confirm whether this is cancer or something else?
I know it’s difficult, but please remember you are not alone. So many pet parents understand exactly how you feel. Your being well (mentally and physically) is also a huge asset to your sweet boy.
Big hugs,
Claire
I know exactly how you feel. I’m am recovering from an illness myself. I’m doing everything I can to help my animal because he was there for me when. I was sick. I pray alot. I also pray to him and with him. I think what’s worse is that they can’t “talk” to us to where we hear words.
If he had no quality of life it would be different but he shows signs of a happy life half of the time. It’s just so hard. I feel your pain
Hi Mia! How are you and how is your pet?? I feel you completely especially the part about being confused as to whether your pet is suffering or not because even my cat seems happy and walks around and purrs half the time! She has a chronic condition though and it’s so hard to manage and it’s also very depressing cleaning poop almost all day long. It’s a very difficult time and I’m engulfed in constant anxiety, pain and fear of having to say goodbye to her.
I fully feel your pain Sam. I am extremely alone too. I’ve been crying and worrying so much. My whole life is revolving around my pet’s health and it’s a constant worry. She seems happy half the time and the other half she seems tired and done with life. Idk what to do. I spend hours every day cleaning after her, helping her urinate and defecate, feed her, keep her hydrated, give regular enemas and also try to keep her happy. I spend so much time crying and feel so alone and helpless. How is your ot doing? And how are you?
Thank you I really needed to read this I love my dogs and when they get sick I feel helpless but it was good for me to see that others struggle with the same thing. Thank you
Hi Pedro,
I am so glad that you appreciated this blog!
You are not alone.
Hugs,
Claire
Thank you for this article glad there is a place to share the pain when your “baby” gets sick all of a sudden. My Lynx(ie) has been diagnosed all of a sudden (Aug 9) with Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM) and I am in so much pain over my little guy. It is hard to watch him deteriorate and there is nothing that I can do to make him better. I am a crying wreck, but know I must carry on and concentrate on giving him lots more love. Thank you for the helpful article and the comments, it helps to know that we are not alone.
Hi Milagros,
Thank you for sharing, it can be so hard to honor our difficult emotions while also tending to and caring for our pets. Just know that you are doing an amazing job!
Lots of love,
Claire
Hi Milagros.. I am an absolute crying wreck too. I also recently went through an extremely painful breakup and it feels like one traumatic incident after another and idk how to cope. My pet has a chronic condition and I’m trying so hard to make her comfortable and keep her alive and happy but the care for a sick AND handicapped pet is harder than I ever imagined. It’s also extremely depressing. Idk what to do
Hi Samara,
What a kind soul you are to console other pet parents as you yourself are grieving through so much.
I just wanted you to know that I am sending you the biggest hug and so much love.
In peace,
Claire
Thank you for this article. My cat suddenly became ill and was diagnosed with anemia. There are still so many unanswered questions though. I’m struggling with worry because he went from being very active to very lethargic and I don’t know if he will make a full recovery. I’m doing everything I can for him and this article helped me find comfort in that.
Hi Erin,
I am so sorry and I am sending you such big hugs. I hope that this article truly helped you feel less alone in this journey. You are doing an amazing job.
So much love,
Claire
Hello, Thank you so much for this article, my cat currently can’t use his hind legs, he used to hide, run and jump all over the house and now it breaks my heart to see him struggle, the depression and anxiety is real but your words are like sunshine in a dark day.
Hi Juan,
Oh, I am so sorry for your our delayed response, and so sorry that you are struggling with all of this.
Sending you such a massively big hug,
Claire
Hello,
Thank you very much for this article. I didn’t think I would find anything with my quick Google search but I did — this. I care for 3 dogs, 2 cats, and 9 roosters. With the roosters, it is one health issue after another, and I feel like I never get a break. I am so overwhelmed almost all of the time now. Thank you for this.
Hi Liz,
The overwhelm is real! Just a reminder to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace and when too much is too much, know it’s okay to pause.
Thinking of you, because we all REALLY know this feeling.
Lots of love and big hugs,
Claire
Thanks for posting this. I had a special need cat for year’s. Who sadly passed away Feb. 2020. Now my 15 year cat is blind, arthritis in her back. And is stage one kidney disease. And my kitten is also worry me because his breath has been rapid. Hope you pets are doing well.
Hi Joy,
Wrapping you in such a big, virtual hug and sending so much love. Grief is such a difficult and complex experience.
With all our love,
Claire
Thank you for this article. It really came at a time of need.
Akeylah,
I am so glad to hear this, and we are sending SO much love.
Big hugs,
Claire
How does it affect dogs the longer They have Cushing’s. I feel bad because my dog was just diagnosed and she had the symptoms for two years is it harder to treat? I’m gonna go holistic all the way
Hi Deborah,
I am so sorry to hear about your pup’s diagnosis. I know you probably feel so overwhelmed!
I think that every dog is different. How is your girl responding to a holistic approach? Do you, or are you able, to get a holistic veterinarian on her team to help provide guidance?
BIG hug,
Claire
Thank you for this article. Having sick pets is one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced!
Hi Jan! Thanks for the crock pot tip! I know how stressful sick pets can be. I am here for you!